Maine’s Moose Mountain National Park is a scenic wonderland offering rugged, wave-eroded coastline, magnificent maritime landscapes, glorious flora, unique fauna and, of course, serenity in abundance. However, what you don’t see in these so-called idyllic surroundings is the emotional trauma being suffered daily by park inhabitants.

Hello, Ranger Todd here. As a Park Ranger and a wildlife psychiatrist (unaccredited South Sea island school) I’ve devoted my life to veterinary behavioral science. I recently conducted a squirrel support group and became aware of certain day-to-day pressures suffered by average, bushy-tailed, tree-dwelling rodents.

What I learned from that session may astound you. You see, it’s really no wonder the average squirrel appears nervous, hyper-active…stressed, even. While squirrels may not fret over mortgages, past due bills, or the ever-changing price of oil, THEY DO HAVE PROBLEMS.

Did you know that a squirrel’s teeth are constantly growing? That’s right.  And to keep their ever-growing teeth from getting out-of-control,  the squirrel must chew continuously.  Every moment of every day, squirrels need to be gnash-gnash-gnashing away. Diligent chewing helps a squirrel file down its teeth to a reasonable size.  And let me tell you, friends, according to reliable sources, there are plenty of times when  exasperated squirrels just wants to rest their jaws, relax, kick back, and enjoy some much needed “down” time. Unfortunately, no matter how tedious the task, squirrels ABSOLUTELY MUST, at all times, bite, crunch, munch and/or gnaw! For a squirrel, refusing to chew could be (cue dramatic music) FATAL.

So, that’s why I started this support group, so that squirrels seeking comfort and consolation will be able to develop the coping skills needed to accept the laws of nature and ultimately lead a normal, stress free life.

If you know of a friend, family member or fellow nut-gatherer who you think might benefit from this program, don’t hesitate to direct them to our meetings held at the old fire tower near Burble Pond every Tuesdays at two p.m.

This is Ranger Todd, therapist to woodland creatures everywhere, saying “so long” and remember…Be kind to your web-footed friends, for a duck may be somebody’s co-dependent.

Tim Wild, an employee at the Jordan Pond House in Acadia National Park, holds an ice bag to his injured face on Tuesday, Aug. 19. Wild said he was assaulted by a ranger while hiking in the park with a group of friends and co-workers the day before.

Someone sent me this wacky mash-up created by  Sean Kleefeld featuring Moose Mountain and PhD:

Go here: http://kleefeldoncomics.blogspot.com/2008/09/more-comic-mash-ups.html

Get it? A seal, like the aquatic mammal…oh, forget it. I can’t always be ON.

However, Moose Mountain did get a really nice review over at artpatient.com. Thanks for the kind words. You’re welcome to the park anytime

Still think that seal gag is funny, Hmmm, maybe it needs a visual aid.

Seeing how I live in Bangor, the former “lumber capital of the world,” I thought it only right that I pay cartoon tribute to those hearty folk of yesteryear who harvested logs from the northern timberlands and drove them down Maine’s swift moving waterways to the sawmills. But then I realized that only a few of you would be interested in seeing a drawing that features some ugly, hulking, hairy-knuckled, wood choppin’ lumberjack. So… I decided to honor Bangor’s ancestors by drawing a cute lumberjill! Now, I’m not really sure if there were lumberjills during the town’s “lumber boom,” but if there had been, I’m sure they were rough and tumble gals who were as good at logging as ANY man. CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE:

Welcome to MOOSE MOUNTAIN, a comic about, well, anthropomorphic animals mostly.

Now, some of you may know me from my graphic novels, but you’ll find no mod vampires, beatnik detectives, international cowgirls, or amour-plated superheroes in this comic strip. Mostly you’ll find, uh, talking animals. Yup…lots of talking animals. A brooding, love-sick blackfly. A New Jersey squirrel family under the protection of wildlife witness security. A self-centered, passive aggressive black bear. A moose whose four husbands were all killed in tragic car crashes. Yes sir, this strip boasts a mad parade of talking animals. So unless you find that sort of thing creepy, I hope you’ll take time to read the archives. And I hope you’ll drop me a line, comment on a strip or two, or tell me where the site still needs work. I want to hear from you!

Oh, and do me a favor, willya? If you like Moose Mountain, please spread the word. I’d appreciate it.

Well, thanks for droppin’ by. Be sure and come back every Tuesday and Thursday for more new comics.

ComicsPress is trancendent! And Tyler Martin is an all powerful whiz kid guru. This site would not exist in this or any material world without him. His wisdom sounds to the calves, seen with the nipples of their mother’s pressed within their mouths, like the pouring of awesome-sauce, and they immediately spread their long ears just to catch every last mind expanding drop.

Thanks Tyler!